Last Updated on 24 August 2023 by Colette
As a blogger I’m regularly sent press releases about all manner of things. Mostly I have a quick glance through them and put them to one side but every now and again one piques your interest and this has kept coming back to me since I read it at the back end of the week.
“Recent research from the British beauty association, BABTAC, has found that two in three UK mothers allow their daughters under the age of 8 to have professional beauty treatments – and three quarters of these say it improves their child’s confidence”
What the . . .?! Let’s just take a minute for that to sink in. Kids under 8 are having professional beauty treatments. To boost their confidence?!
How has that become OK? Of course it doesn’t say what these beauty treatments are but I’m guessing we’re mainly talking nails and maybe a spray tan. I’ve definitely taught Year 6 children who’ve had their eyebrows threaded as a “treat” and a good friend of mine was somewhat surprised last year by the lengths some of the girls at her school went to to prepare for the Year 6 leaver’s party – we’re talking 11 year olds having threading, nails and hair appointments. For a school party. Where do we go from there? A boob job and botox for your high school prom?
Chlo, at 4, is now allowed to have her toe nails painted. Just her toe nails, at home, by me. The thought of taking her to a salon to have her nails even painted, never mind have gels / acrylics applied makes me feel ill. I hate the latest fad for “pamper parties” for little ones. Children are growing up far too fast these days and this sort of thing really isn’t helping is it?
The study also investigates which behaviours little girls regularly mimic, finding that more than half mimic taking selfies, one in five mimic weighing on the scales and 16% of mums had noticed their daughter also inherited their self-critical behaviour.
As a Mum of two girls I’m painfully aware of the image I project. I am their role model. I never comment about my weight in front of them or say I don’t like the way I look. I always tell them they look gorgeous and teach them how to accept compliments. I want them to be confident in themselves the way they are. Not to feel they need to change things about themselves. Chloe often watches me putting my make up on and I occasionally tickle her face with my blusher brush and she thinks it’s fabulous, it doesn’t leave a trace of course. As she watched me the other day she said “You’re just getting lovely aren’t you Mum?” – and I wasn’t entirely comfortable with agreeing with her. Do I need my ‘face’ on to be lovely? I hope not.
I love make up, there’s no denying it. I also love to indulge in beauty treatments – having my hair cut and coloured as regularly as I can afford, my nails done for a special occasion, my eye brows threaded every few months. But am I about to start taking the girls with me as a bonding experience? Hell no. What happened to baking, painting, reading a story or going shopping? We’ll save the beauty treatments for later thanks very much. For now I’m going to concentrate on making sure my girls love themselves for who they are and are confident in their own natural beauty.
I’d love to know what you think? Are you one of the two in three mums who would treat their daughter to a professional beauty treatment?
Oh gosh. This may turn into an essay. My first thought – just why?!?! EIGHT?! Really!?!?!?!
When I was eight I was playing with dolls and having my hair in plaited pigtails every day, wearing reversible jumpers, leggings and socks pulled up. I didn't care how I looked and I spent my days baking, reading and being a kid.
Now, I am not very 'girly'. I wear foundation and mascara most days. Don't often have my nails painted and most of the time don't even blow dry my hair but LP still loves to pretend to put make up on – and got a fabric set recently that she plays with. But she says to me that I'm making myself pretty in the morning and I tell her no, Mummy's pretty anyway and I reinforce to her that she is beautiful all the time. I haven't even painted her nails yet and I'm not sure when I will as I don't have my nails painted enough for her to think of it as something she would do – if that makes sense.
Ah I don't want her to grow up. I want her to be young an innocent for as long as possible and the thought of her leaving primary school and wanting to get her hair done at a salon and her nails done too makes me feel a bit sick. I really hope that in 7 years we're not quite at that point x
Interestingly the press release even said that the average age was 6.5!! That's kids who would be in Ben's class?
Chloe had asked for her nails painted a while back but we said she had to wait till she was 4 and even then it was only to be her toes – I can't bear to see chipped polish on little girls' fingers. She has never asked to wear make up or even have her own to play with, which I'm glad of. My tickling her cheeks with my blusher brush reminds me of my Grandad doing the same to us with his shaving brush!
I think what shocks me most is that it seems to be so wide spread – It makes me wonder who they asked, I'm pretty sure not 2 in 3 of the mums I know would be doing it?!
Your completely right I didn't even start wearing makeup until I was at uni and that was at 18 years old but there are children 10 years younger than I was putting on makeup and getting their nails done! What happened to letting kids be kids they are growing up far too quickly these days.
It's just so sad isn't it 🙁
my little girl has just turned six and I let her paint her nails with my nail polish and wear her kids fake make up that nanna brought her for Christmas, But that's it. When she put's make up on she looks like a clown, not a make up doll, There is no way I would take her to a beauty salon until she is about 16. Kids nowadays are just growing up too soon, and a lot of it is because the parents are letting it happen. A friend of mine took her 7 year old to have fake nails on and hair extensions, I think it is absolutely ridiculous
Oh my word. Hair extensions?! Why would you?!
I am so with you on this, I am disgusted that this is deemed as normal! I am quite happy to let my boy see me make up free, in my pjs, lumps and bumps showing… I want him to know that this is what a woman looks like, not one of these glammed up women on the TV. I can't stand seeing young girls made to look older than they are. I've got a friend who puts makeup on her little girl, who is 4/5. It creeps me out. Let children be children and enjoy their childhood without the stresses of how they look. And for ourselves too… Keep them our babies as long as possible, we'll miss them if they grow up too quickly!! Sorry… rant over….! x
I like you paint Addison's toenails at home, only since the last couple months, she si also 4. I this week let her have a colour.
I would not have considered taking her to have it done, but then she came with me last week and asked if for her 5th Birthday she could have the lady paint her nails.
I am in 2 minds, I don't think it has anything to do with her confidence, it is cause it is fun and she is with Mummy. She will certainly not be wearing makeup and having her eyebrows done, are you bloody kidding me, that hurts like hell, why would you want to.
I am in no rush for her to grow up, although saying that I was a carnival queen at the age of 9 and I used to have to have all sorts of crap done, I do not overly want that for her x
Hell yes – I don't like having my brows threaded at 35, why would I inflict that on my daughter!
I let my 2 year old boy have his nails painted when I do mine at home. It's just like colouring in to him. As I'm a hairdresser I don't see anything wrong in bonding time having your hair done. My little boy would have me cur his hair daily if I let him.
I do think some children have their hair coloured far to young and don't agree with spray tans or acrylics on young children
Interesting. I'm not yet at the point of thinking about this stuff as L is 15 months, but I guess it might not be too long before she copies me or Hay putting on our makeup in the morning! Like you say, I think it's about teaching your kids to be confident in themselves and things like only makeup makes you pretty or you need to look a certain way, can only harm their image of themselves and the world. Would I take L to get pampered, I very much doubt it. But don't see the harm in little things like painting nails at home.
Oh my goodness. I SO agree with you! I'm worried my daughters will be growing up with far too much pressure to look a certain way and I feel its my responsibility to be their role model & encourage them to love themselves!
xx
This sort of nonsense really infuriates me…8??? When did it become ok for society, and some parents for that matter, to put so much pressure on young girls to look and dress a certain way? Whatever happened to just letting kids be kids.
My mum doesn't use much make up and that's definitely something I've gotten from her. I was allowed to paint my nails from quite a young age, with child-safe, peelable nail polish. I couldn't fathom having gone to a salon at that age for my nails, it seems so extreme! Stephanie x
Oh dear I do not like the sound of this – where are these two in three mums, sounds made up?! I think it only teaches them looking good will help their confidence. Children need confidence in themselves because of who they are, not what they look like
Oh my word. I don't like what this teaches children. It's not okay for girls to be defined by beauty, especially so young. That said, I would like to be like you and manage to make myself look nice and put on makeup. I have huge issues with self confidence and I am petrified that my beautiful little girls will have the same problem and if they do it will be my fault.x
There's a definite balance to strike isn't there.
Personally I don't like the idea of little girls having gels or extensions. I think nail painting is fine though xxx
It infuriates me that beauty treatments for children of this age are deemed as normal – what has happened to the innocence of childhood?
Kids are in far too much of a hurry to grow up. As a mother of a girl I want her to stay little for as long as possible. I would not be getting her nails done or spray tans till she is much older.
This just seems wrong to me. Kids that young don't need a load of muck on their faces or fake nails. Just let them be children for crying out loud. I also don't agree with ear piercing in children not old enough to want them. Why are we pushing them towards womanhood at warp speed? Then we complain that they can't handle adult responsibilities.
When I see how girls look today I think I must have been very uncool or very sheltered or something because I didn't have make up or get my hair "done" until I was in my late teens! My 6 year old stepdaughter sometimes has her nails painted on the weekend but that is it!
no no no no no. What is the world coming to? any 8 year old of mine will never need a confidence boost at that age. Being8 isn't about looks, it's about being a child. How upsetting. x
I know one mum from my home town, who also appeared on a popular channel 4 tv program, fake tans her children etc. I paint my daughters toe nails and have done since they were about a year.
You wouldn't have got me anywhere near a beauty salon at that age – I was a huge tom boy, but perhaps that was a good thing. x
Such a nice things you are saying to them! This is perfect way to grow confidence in your children! Oh well done girl!
I did not put on makeup until my teen years and I can't imagine my daughter having makeup on earlier than that.
My mum used to paint my nails when I was younger, but that's it. I didn't get into make-up until I was mid secondary school. This idea is a bit.. out there. Sadly, some mums will probably jump at the opportunity to take their child to a pampering sesh. Who are we to judge, I guess? Hmm it's a tricky one!
We paint nails here after constant pestering but they are painted by me, toe nails only unless they have a party then they may get lucky and I do their fingers. J had her hair washed last time we were at the hair dressers but that's because it was included in the price and saved me a job, she absolutely loved it. (6yrs) I won't be "pampering" her though and she won't be for a very long time yet. I do know of a girl who had her nails painted in a salon at only 3yrs so she can match her mum.
I read in the paper all the time about these little pageant kids and all of their beauty treatments and it still shocks me x
This is one of those things that I actually can't start talking about because I won't stop! It is shocking, and totally unnecessary. Let the little girls BE little girls. Kaz x
I don't have children so I'm not sure if my mind would change on this but I think it's fine to allow little girls to paint their nails and try on children's make up. I'd be fine with the make-up at home but not on the street but nails and toes painted by me or a family member would be fine. I think it's pretty cute.
Wow that’s so crazy, I had no idea, I can still barely do my own make up. I grew up with 4 brothers and my mum is as much of a tom boy as I am so I'm normally as I come! Frightening to think girls that young are having treatments!
My daughter is 12. Second year of high school. She has nail varnish at weekends but off by Monday. Special occasions I straighten her hair of curls
At the stage now she wants the blow dry at the hairdressers
Odd bit of make up, very pale eye show & lip gloss. No eye liner or mascara. They aren't allowed make up at school
This probably started at high school
She does however have professional massages & has for about 3 years but she has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and it helps with blood circulation & aching muscles due to not walking properly. This is not a beauty treatment for her it's a medical necessity that eases pain meaning less time off school
We don't pluck eyebrows or dress 'grown up'
This certainly never happened at 8. She's growing up and to be honest I had a lip gloss and pale eye shadow at her age
I think that sounds really sensible – we all have to start somewhere don't we. You have clear boundaries x
that is really mad, it's really disturbing to think of an 8 year old with a spray tan!! I think it's natural for kids to play in their mums make up (I know Wilf loves wearing my lipstick haha) but yes that is a very frighting thought x
Yes absolutely normal for children to want to mimic their mummy, and I guess all the more reason why we have to be careful what we are showing them.
What absolute madness. I completely agree with what you've written. Kids should be kids, they are far to quick to grow up these days and I partly blame the parents for allowing that to happen. I realise children have to grow up but there's plenty of time for them to experiment with fashion, make-up, etc. Utter madness!
Laura x
I would love to know who they asked. Like you, I can't imagine that any of my friends little girls go to salons and threading eye-brows for a primary school leavers party? I'm 32 and I'm only just considering trying it, the pain scares me! I know three and four year olds who get nails painted at home sometimes by their mums but professional treatments?! I'm rather concerned that it's being deemed as a confidence booster, what sort of message does that send?
My Mum does girly every so often but not all the time so make up was a bit of a foreign concept for a while. She always has her nails painted and puts on a little bit of lipstick and some perfume before leaving the house so I’m sure somewhere along the line I was allowed to have some makeup and paint my nails etc.
If I had my nails painted it was nearly always at home and whatever colour my mum had to hand until I got my own.
Would she have taken me to have them done properly for the leavers disco (ours was Year 4 or Year 8 as we’re 3 tier)? Nope I doubt it. I’m not sure my Mum would have necessarily had the additional funds that having my nails done properly would have taken. She’d have already paid for my ticket and possibly a new outfit but other than that I don’t think there would have been the option. (And I have never really been entirely into the makeup thing – I paint my nails once in a while and then the odd bit of eyeliner and mascara if I’m off out).
I had my hair done properly at the hairdressers for my Year 11 and Year 13 proms but for my Year 11 one I’d borrowed a dress and my Year 13 one my Mum had found an old bridesmaid dress in a charity shop and will some sewing magic she got it to fit me properly and you know what I loved it.
I guess each to their own but let kids be kids! The world is so messed up out there don’t make them grown up so quickly.