I’m Not Ready

Today my littlest girl finished playschool and I’m not ready.

At three years and eight months old, Amy is much older than her siblings where when they left playschool.  But I’m not ready.

Amy has been at playschool for about 18 months, considerably longer than Ben and Chloe were purely due to the time of year she was born.  She’s old enough to have formed really strong relationships with the ladies who care for her.  She’s old enough to understand that today was her last day and that she won’t be going back.  She has been really unsettled in the last few weeks building up to leaving today but she was so brave as she said her goodbyes.  Me?  I cried.  I’m not ready.

The ladies at playschool have looked after all three of my children – in fact I’ve been taking my children to playschool for the last 6 years, give or take a few months cross over.  Today feels like the end of an era.  And I’m just not ready.

Of course I know that Amy is more than ready to start Nursery at school in September, she will be almost a full year older than Ben and Chloe were when they started and yet she’s still my baby.  I tried one of Chloe’s old school skirts on her the other day, just to check if it fit.  I cried.  I’m honestly not ready.

I was chatting to a friend this morning about those “last firsts” that come with your final baby – they are so much harder to swallow when you know you’re not going to be doing it again.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want any more babies – three is absolutely my number.  But I just want time to press pause.  It feels as thought if I blink, primary school will be over and I’m not ready.

Slow down baby girl.  Mummy’s not ready.

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10 Comments

  1. July 20, 2017 / 7:27 pm

    Tell me about it and trust me! We will never be ready to see any such things like their last day at Nursery, Last day at Primary and last day at Secondary, moving away from us for Uni or career! We will just be mums who will want their children to be hugged and kept closer all the time 🙂

    Hope she enjoys her days at Nursery and take my word – you will just be fine in few days time after they start the new challenge! 🙂

  2. July 22, 2017 / 2:09 am

    Aww you get me welling up reading this! Children grow up so fast and as every milestone is reached it is both exciting and slightly sad at the same time. I’m not sure why – perhaps because each one is a step to independence, though as an adult we know that we never really stop needing our parents 🙂

  3. July 22, 2017 / 7:15 am

    She’s growing into a beautiful little girl and she wants to be just like you, I bet! Unfortunately, those amazing babies have to grow up to be responsible and successful adults someday. I hope time slows down just a little for you to enjoy the little things. <3

    xo, Kimberly
    http://www.lifeofkimberly.com

  4. July 22, 2017 / 8:17 am

    Oh love this, beautiful writing Colette xx

  5. July 22, 2017 / 9:05 pm

    I completely get this. I have no idea how Troy is starting school in September and I am so not ready either! x

  6. July 23, 2017 / 5:49 am

    Our kids grow so fast and I feel I am not ready too! I hope your daughter enjoys nursery!

  7. Rachel @ The Daisy Pages
    July 23, 2017 / 7:08 pm

    It’s such a big step, isn’t it 🙂 Lovely writing x

  8. July 24, 2017 / 5:37 pm

    Oh gosh! Same boat here with my youngest starting Nursery in September. Fortunately no uniform until Reception – I couldn’t handle that!

  9. July 24, 2017 / 7:53 pm

    Oh my goodness, I know how you feel. I’m not ready for any of it! It’s heartbreaking for mums, isn’t it. I just hope I can cope when B starts nursery! ?x

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