I’m feeling a bit stuck.
I’ve been feeling stuck for a while.
I wrote back in September about how I was feeling all “what next?” with the onset of the new school year – and I think I’m still very much feeling that but with added stuck – added I’m-not-quite-sure-what-I’m-doing.
I think, if I look at this objectively, it’s a mixture of hormonal stuff (currently trying to get the right treatment for my peri-menopausal symptoms – the Dr put me on the pill and that’s not working out for me), the fact that I’m spending a lot of time at my desk on my own with little variety in my days, and the time of year – rain and dark nights do nothing for my mood!
I haven’t been in school since May – which was a choice up till the summer holiday as I’d been teaching a lot more than usual over the past couple of years and wanted to take some time to breathe and to concentrate on my website. But then of course, being on supply means you’re quite likely to not get much work at all before October half term – I’ve been doing this for 11 years now so I’m well versed in how it goes! And, whilst I do love being at home to work at my own pace, to do the school runs and to be there for Chloe when she gets home and needs to tell me every single detail of her day, immediately – I also know that getting into school a couple of days a week (especially if it’s a school I already know and love), brings some balance to my week!
My days are spent at my desk for the most part – sometimes Dave is working from home, other times – like this week – he’s been away and I’ve spent four days working at home on my own. This is great for productivity but does tend to mean the only people I actually have a conversation with are the people I see on the school run. There are no zoom meetings and no coffee breaks when you’re working for yourself, by yourself!
So I’m seeking new experiences.
A couple of weeks ago I went to a business breakfast, a networking event if you will. I went with no real motive or purpose than to get out of the house and meet other people locally – I had a couple of really good chats and was glad I’d done it.
Last weekend, in an attempt to push myself out of my comfort zone, I joined in with a group doing breathwork, meditation and then had a dip in the reservoir – in October. It was the breathwork I went for and the cold water I was dreading but in reality the breathwork made me feel jittery and unsettled for the rest of the day but the cold water gave me a sense of a achievement and a real buzz that I’d managed to get through it and do something I’d always told myself I couldn’t – and I didn’t even care about standing at the edge of the reservoir in my swimsuit with a whole load of people I didn’t know!
Next weekend I’ve booked tickets for a TEDx event at a local university – a day of talks on the theme of “Become Unstoppable”. I miss learning from and being inspired by other people so I’m excited to see what the day holds.
I’m keeping on keeping on, working hard at growing the traffic to my site (thank you to you for reading this and letting me spend my days writing because I truly do love it!), pushing myself to get out and try new things and hoping that somewhere along the line the right opportunity or flash of inspiration will be there!
Have a read about Micro Adventures next!
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