When did I last carry you?

I don’t know how or when it happened.  When did Ben and Chloe become too big to pick up? Was there a day I decided I couldn’t lift them any more?

Amy still likes me to pick her up, to carry her. She’s 4. She’s tall. It’s not easy. I can’t carry her far and nor do I really want to and I often find myself refusing her.  But I cherish those moments where I pick her up and she wraps her limbs around me for the tightest of cuddles.

Mummy and Bo

Before long she will be too big too. Will I know it’s the last time or will I realise all too late that it has stopped and I can no longer pick her up?

The big two are putting themselves to bed several nights a week now, they are increasingly independent and whilst I love this to a point as it just makes life easier for Dave & I, it is another step along the road to them growing up, another step further away from them being little.

My babies are growing so fast. Faster than I’m ready for. I want to pick them up and hold them tight forever.  I’m not ready for them to be too big to pick up, to sit on my knee or to hold my hand.  I’m not ready for it to be the last time.



  1. January 27, 2018 / 7:07 am

    Oh this made me cry. Mine are growing up fast too. I’ve got a skinny one and 2 chunks so I try to carry the skinny one but I love the cuddles when they wrap their legs around me

  2. January 27, 2018 / 7:09 am

    This is such a thought provoking post. I’ve never thought about when my parents stopped picking me up.

  3. January 27, 2018 / 12:53 pm

    Oh I completely relate. I am becoming more and more aware of how fast time is going and how I really need to embrace every stage that they’re at. I know I’ll miss the little stage when they’re older

    • Colette
      January 27, 2018 / 9:12 pm

      I went to a baby group earlier this week and it made me realise just how quickly we’ve moved away from that stage and how I can barely remember my children being that small.

  4. January 27, 2018 / 10:12 pm

    Every time I look at my Ben, who is so tall now, I wonder where the time has gone. Hopefully they’ll never get too old they won’t give their old mum a big hug? Sad times though, sad times x

    • Colette
      January 27, 2018 / 10:40 pm

      I often ask Ben if he will still give me a hug when he’s big – he promises he will. I’m not sure how much longer he’ll hold my hand for though x

  5. January 27, 2018 / 10:22 pm

    Awww you have such a beautiful family. I can relate with my younger cousins they grow up so quickly.

  6. Dena Jayne
    January 28, 2018 / 9:47 am

    This is such a lovely post, makes you realise it really is the little things you miss the most x

  7. January 28, 2018 / 3:04 pm

    It’s so bitter sweet isn’t it. Definitely a path to making life easier, but for them needing us just that little bit less… My older two are now soon to be 13 and 11 and thankfully still need big cuddles from time to time. My youngest is 2 and I still have to carry him a lot, even though he weighs a ton! 😀

  8. January 28, 2018 / 3:54 pm

    I can relate to this so much, it is so bittersweet – Jack still tries to get me to carry him sometimes and he’s 6 – I find myself refusing too but I know that soon . when he no longer does it, I will miss it

    • Colette
      January 29, 2018 / 10:40 am

      Chloe is six and I can’t pick her up anymore, she’s just too big!

  9. January 28, 2018 / 6:49 pm

    This made me feel really sad. My children are all too old to be picked up now. I absolutely cherish those times when they still want to snuggle in and have a cuddle, because my 19-year-old is a testament to the fact that that doesn’t always last.

    • Colette
      January 29, 2018 / 10:40 am

      I dread the days they won’t hug me any more!

  10. January 28, 2018 / 9:27 pm

    This sort of thing hits hard; you never really think it will be ‘the last time’ you do something. I can imagine it must be really emotional for things like this with your kids. X

    • Colette
      January 29, 2018 / 10:02 am

      Absolutely, it’s like you suddenly realise you’ve stopped doing it and you don’t know how or when.

  11. January 29, 2018 / 2:06 pm

    Wahhh! So awful isn’t it! My son is nearly 13 so I totally know where you are coming from. I remember thinking and feeling exactly the same on so many occasions. My son does still luckily love a cuddle and some affection every know and then, so when I’m not shoved off I make the most of it! x

  12. January 29, 2018 / 6:10 pm

    It’s sad isn’t it? My eldest will be 12 in May, she’s pretty much as tall as me, my second is almost 10 and my baby is now 6 years old. Luckily none are too big for a cuddle – but I wish time would slow down. Sarah

  13. chichi
    January 31, 2018 / 3:25 pm

    I was speaking to my sister the other day and she said the same thing, how she doesn’t know how my niece has grown up to do her things herself!

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