Will we be sending our children back to school?

Last Updated on 24 August 2023 by Colette

There is a certain irony in me writing this post as I’ve come to find that I need to avoid reading, engaging with and absorbing other people’s opinions on the subject of whether or not schools should be ‘reopening’ and if my own children should be going back. The more I read and take on board other people’s thoughts, the more confused I become, the less courage I have in my own convictions and the more my anxiety levels soar.

This post isn’t intended as advice nor judgement. It is simply a release of my own thoughts – written in part to help me clarify those but also because it may be of value to others in a similar situation. I’ve had quite a few people message me to ask me what we are planning to do and how we’re feeling about potentially sending two of our gang back to school in two weeks time . . .

When it comes to sending our children back to school, the choice is ultimately a very personal one, one which will vary massively from family to family depending on circumstances and which essentially is a balance of risk versus benefit.

Throughout the course of the school closures, many families haven’t had the privilege of this choice. The children of many key workers have continued to attend school throughout the past 8 or so weeks to allow their parents to keep our country safe, warm, fed and as healthy as possible.

When the rhetoric on social media is one of not wishing to send children back (reasons I’ve seen include; “Schools are just a petri dish of germs” / “My child isn’t going to be a Guinea pig” / “It’s respectful to our teachers to keep the children at home so that the adults in school can be safe” / “It’s too soon, the figures are still too high”), it can be easy to feel judged if you even begin to consider sending your child back to school. (It should be said – I’m not saying that any of those reasons aren’t valid, just that I’ve seen little balance in the conversation.)

If schools reopen on 1st June, and that is of course a big if, then two of our three children would be among the first to be welcomed back. Ben is in Year 6, Amy is in Year 1. When I heard Boris Johnson announce the plans to begin a phased return with these year groups I was initially thrilled – “Hurrah, a period of transition for Ben and a return to some much needed normality for Amy . . . “

But then I began to wonder if, actually, returning to such an unfamiliar school setting could do Amy more harm than good. My 6yo child, who is demonstrating a return to compulsive habits / poor behaviour etc, has found Lockdown extremely hard. She misses her friends, her teachers, her routines. How would she cope with going back to an environment where she couldn’t hug her teachers or play with her friends, where her school day would look unrecognisable and she might not even be in her usual classroom with her usual adults. Would staying at home where things are stable be better for her?

On the other hand, I do understand why the government are keen to get our youngest children back into school. Cynically, I must mention the fact that both Reception and Year 1 children will face statutory testing next summer and of course the government wouldn’t want those figures to be too wonky as it would screw up their tracking for years. But more than that, these are the formative years of our children’s education – we are laying the foundations for all the skills and knowledge to come. If education is a wall – then missing those early bricks will make for a very wobbly wall later on (imagine your Y4 child’s wall – one or two bricks missing further up wouldn’t do as much damage to the over all stability would it?). Children make such huge progress in their early years at school – it’s often quick and comes in leaps and bounds. Half a term or more of missed learning is a big deal when you’re in Reception / Year 1 and about to move to a more formal Year 1 / 2 class with less provision (play) and more sitting at tables and listening. Of course I’m not sure how much learning will be done in this last half term of the school year – it may be that with these smaller class sizes and unfamiliar teachers, the focus is not really on the curriculum.

For Ben, in Year 6, I’m less worried about how he’d cope with school being “odd” – he is his father’s son and has just taken the whole Coronavirus / Lockdown thing in his stride. Yes he’s missing his teachers and his mates but there’s been no tantrums or sulking, just a steady getting on with things. He’s super disappointed about not being able to go to Robinwood – your first school residential is a big deal and something they’ve all been looking forward to for the whole of their time in the juniors. (He got upset when we talked about it the other night but insisted his eyes were itchy from his hayfever – I cuddled him to make his itchy eyes better . . . ). He’s missed his SATs, he didn’t get to have toast for breakfast with his mates before his tests, there was no end of SATs celebration, there will be no big leaver’s assembly or party. But I honestly think I’m more upset about these things than he is – I’m more aware of what he’s missing I suppose.

In terms of getting the Year 6 children back into school before the end of the year – this is obviously about trying to make sure they can have a period of transition – a chance to say goodbye to their primary school (though what a strange goodbye it will be) and to think about moving forward to high school. Whatever they do at this stage in the game, it is going to be a fairly brutal transition. It’s unlikely that there will be any transition days or opportunities to meet their teachers – at the moment school are talking about virtual transition opportunities including Zoom meetings with new classmates! I’m just glad that we were able to take Ben to an open day earlier in the year so he knows what his new school looks like and has a feel for it. He currently doesn’t seem too worried about the move to high school but I know for others this is a really stressful and worrying time.

I think at this point, it’s worth referring back to that petri dish we mentioned earlier. Schools are an absolute nightmare for lurgies – for nits, chicken pox, stomach bugs – you don’t need me to tell you that. Now, I’m no scientist, but this is something that has been playing on my mind for the last two months . . . We all know how germy schools are in September when everyone goes back to school after not seeing each other for weeks and we all end up full of colds etc. Surely the end of Lockdown is going to see a similar situation, Covid or not. After an extended period where we’ve not had contact with anyone and our immunity has dropped off aren’t we likely to see a general increase in illness? I feel that steadily introducing the kids to people in small groups to start to rebuild their immunity has to be better than walking straight into a whole class full in September? We are fortunate that our kids are generally pretty hardy and I can count on one hand the number of days they’ve each had off sick in the past so I feel like the risk to them individually is pretty low. (Watch me have them off for weeks on end with every illness going now I’ve said that out loud.)

So, having weighed up the pros and cons for both Ben and Amy, the biggest concern is how this will look for our school and our community. At present the government are advising children are taught in small groups of 15 or less and that contact with others is minimised – this will of course look different in every setting. For our school this is currently playing out as phased start and finish times, different play times and lunch times, set classrooms and adults (which will at least give continuity through this unsettled time). The school have sent out a very thorough document today explaining how they plan to make things as safe as possible for both children and staff. Very thorough but also very sad. What I really want for my kids is for them to play with their friends and to hug their teachers, but that isn’t going to happen.

At present our school plans to prioritise the youngest children should they feel they are over subscribed and can’t spread pupils out enough to remain safe – so it’s possible, with Ben, that the decision would be taken out of our hands anyway.

Dave and I have agreed, as things stand, that we will likely send the kids back as and when they are invited. However, the final decision will be based entirely on how this looks for our school and our community at the time. Currently the R rate in our area is higher than I am comfortable with and I would like to see this drop considerably over the coming fortnight. But more than that, I want the kids to feel happy, safe and settled when they return to school – and if they don’t, I won’t hesitate to reverse our decision and return to distance learning. Of course we are privileged to have that choice – Dave is still working from home the majority of the time. I work from home for the most part anyway and don’t anticipate going back to supply teaching till my three are back in school themselves.

Of course two weeks is a long time in this pandemic – who knows what might happen to the numbers and “five tests” in that time. We have yet to see the effects of VE Day street parties and the relaxing of rules around exercise / going to work / meeting up with one person. We could easily see those numbers leap up and all discussion about a return to school could be a moot point anyway.

So will we be sending our children back to school next month? I don’t know. Let’s wait & see.

UPDATE: After four weeks back at school