Three under 5 . . . Five years later

Last Updated on 10 October 2023 by Colette

Five years ago now, I wrote a post about what it was like having three children under 5.  Those days are far behind us now and we have three children between the ages of six and ten years old so I thought I should write an update on what it’s like having three young children.

I thought I’d refer back to the original points I made and see how things have changed . . .

“We no longer all fit in one car” 

This is still true for the most part. We don’t easily fit into your average family car however now that all three children are in high-backed boosters it does give us more flexibility.  Ben is now tall enough that he no longer legally needs a car seat however we will be keeping him on his high-backed booster for as long as possible.  It does mean that on the days we need to squeeze into a smaller car we can get two high backs and a small booster across the back of the car.  We choose to drive a Ford S-Max as the three full sized seats mean we can fit three high-backed boosters easily across the back seat with room for the children to reach down between them and fasten their seat belts.  The S-Max also gives us the flexibility to split the kids up if need be.  It works well for camping thanks to the huge boot and also means that we have room to take friends and family in the car with us too.  In another five years I imagine we might lose the seven-seater and go back to a large estate.

“You don’t have enough hands” 

This isn’t such a problem now in terms of wrangling small people, Ben rarely holds my hand (he’s happy enough to but the girls tend to get in there first).  But, the whole ‘being out-numbered’ thing still rings true – hitting the supermarket with three kids and trying to concentrate on getting your shopping done effectively is never going to happen!  That said, I now try to give Ben jobs so he can go off and get stuff for me – divide and conquer as they say. When they were little just getting all three children in and out of the car safely on my own felt tricky. I used to come up with instructions like “stand on the white line and don’t move” or “keep both hands on the car” so that I knew Ben wouldn’t move while I fastened the girls in or got them out. Over time it just got easier and now they all get themselves in and out and I don’t even have to fasten seat belts any more!

“Family tickets are for four”

When I first wrote about having three under five, family tickets weren’t really a problem as the girls were too small to be paid for.  Five years later it is a problem and it’s expensive!  Family tickets are almost always for four people, be that two adults and two children or one adult and three children.  In the school holidays, when it’s just me and the kids, it doesn’t always matter.  But the cost of that extra ticket to the panto / theme park / swimming pool / holiday can be significant!

“Nappies”

For over seven years, we had one or more children in nappies.  That’s a lot of bum changing and a lot of expense!  I know that both Dave and I were thrilled when we finally realised that there were no more pooey nappies to be changed!  On the plus side, those seven years meant we got it all out of the way at once, rather than waiting till one was clean and dry only to go back to the start.

“You’re constantly checking you’ve got enough kids”

This is still true.  I’m constantly counting children like a teacher on a school trip.  Probably more so than I ever used to.  Now that they are bigger and have more freedom, they don’t hold my hand everywhere we go and or stay by my side.  They like to explore and try things out, which means I’m always looking and checking I know where everyone is – that I can count three. On the plus side, it’s more relaxed – I can sit down in one place at soft play and know they’ll just come back to me if there’s a problem.  At the park or even the beach I say, “This is where I am, don’t go where your eyes can’t see me” or give them boundaries – “Don’t go past that family with the blue umbrella” and I can trust them to stay there.  This was especially evident last summer when Mich and I were watching a Mum wrangling her toddler at an adventure play we’d gone to whilst we just sat there chatting, and keeping an eye on our team of five from a safe distance – we commented on how quickly we’ve reached that stage, and how it won’t be long before they don’t want to come out with us at all!

“It’s expensive”

Five years ago I wrote about how three lots of childcare meant it was barely worth working – now that the three of them are in full time school, the daily bill has reduced (though we only have childcare two days a week) and in just over a year it will reduce further when Ben goes to high school (a terrifying thought).  Those hard years when the childcare bills are astronomical, are over quickly – having three close together means that things move on quickly – soon you’ve got one in full time school and before you know it all three are there.  However, other things get more expensive – three lots of school shoes is enough to make me weep.  After school activities have to be carefully budgeted for – because what you do for one, you have to be prepared to do for three if they want it – which meant when Ben did a review of Stagecoach and wanted to carry it on, we had to say no – it was expensive enough for one child per term but we had to think about the fact that all three of them might want to go . . . And then there’s holidays – we don’t fit in a standard hotel room which means booking two and doubling the cost of travelling anywhere . . .

And so five years on, with three children under ten – what are the new issues?

A table for five is harder to find than a table for four

As standard restaurant tables are in twos or fours, a table for five is harder to find and means we need to try and book if we know we’re going to want to be eating out somewhere. You know that when you decide to go for a meal on a whim, you might well struggle to get a table immediately. (Oh and eating out becomes way more expensive when your ten year old wants to at from the adult menu!)

Someone is always on their own on a ride

Stands to reason that most rides are are in pairs or fours so one of you is always going to be riding solo. As it is, Chlo isn’t really a fan of theme parks and rides – she would rather stay at home with my Mum so once Amy is tall enough for all the biggest rides, it will even things out again I guess.

A tin of beans isn’t enough but two is too much!

As the kids are getting bigger, so are their portion sizes. One tin of beans isn’t enough, but two is too many. In fact this is often the case with food shopping where things like fish fingers, bread rolls, chocolate puddings all come in even numbers – usually a pack of four – leaving me with a leftover for the three of them to fight over! My freezer often ends up full of odds and sods – one chicken kiev, two fish fingers and handful of nuggets which end up cobbled together into what my friend Gillian calls “Freezer Tapas”!

Nobody comments that I’ve got my hands full any more.

When the kids were little, people always used to comment that I had my hands full – I couldn’t tell you the last time someone said that to me and if I’m honest I’m glad as I used to find it really irritating! I knew they were just trying to be nice but it used to feel like such a stupid thing to say. Now the comments are more along the lines of “Wait till you’ve got three teenagers” . . . so perhaps these are the golden years – while they are a little more independent, a little less demanding of my time and physical energy but not quite big enough to cause me huge amounts of stress over exams, relationships and where they are hanging out at night!

When I wrote my Three under 5 post, I concluded with;

“I’m sure as they get older the challenges will change … it will become increasingly expensive as we work hard to keep them “even” – make sure they each get the same opportunities to have swimming lessons or attend clubs . . . and don’t even talk to me about what it’s going to be like when we’ve got three teens to deal with, I don’t want to know!”

and it would seem I was right – having three kids is definitely getting more expensive and keeping them “even” becomes increasingly challenging in terms of finding the time for them to do the clubs they want to do as well as the money to pay for them! We limit their extra-curricular activities to Monday to Thursday – they each do swimming, attend Beavers or Cubs and until recently Chloe was doing Street Dance but we’ve put a temporary stop on that as Dave is working away so much.

And as for what life will be like with three teens . . . well part of me still really doesn’t want to know, but part of me is kind of looking forward to it . . . it will be here sooner than we know.

I often look back at that period of time where I had “three under 5” and wonder how I managed – but you just do. You find your routines and ways of doing things, everyone slots in somewhere and you get on with life and, slowly but surely it gets easier. Everyone gets a bit older, their needs become different and you adapt. Would I change it? Not for all the tea in China. I love that having three children so close in age means that we got the hard bits of nappies and toilet training and full time childcare out of the way all at once instead of starting again with each new baby. I love that it means the three of them are all really close – they have a great friendship and work well together as a team. I love that I can find things to do which will appeal to all three of them rather than one wanting to be at soft play while the other wants to be go-karting – their needs are similar in that sense. I love what having three under 5 has created for us now.